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Earth: *makes a circle*
Humans: 🎉🎉🎶🎉🎶🎉🎶

Mercury: *makes 4 circles*
Humans: .....

Neptune: "Dude, they only cheer for their one. Don't bother with it. I haven't even went round once. "

🎶Oh, what a laugh it would have been
If Daddy had only seen
Mommy kissing Santa Claus last night🎶

*15 years later*

"Why do you hate Christmas?"

"There was this whole thing with my neighbour in a Santa suit. Dad walked into the living room. That was when they got divorced."

"and then, the epoxy resin is added" - The most overused phrase in 2019.

We just skipping winter and going straight for spring then, aye? 🤷🏻‍♂️

Important Numbers this #christmas

Samaritans - 116123
Mind - 0300 1233393
SANE - 0845 7678000
Young Minds (for parents) - 0808 802 5544
Rape Crisis - 08088029999
CALM (For Men) - 0800585858
Refuge (domestic abuse) - 0808 2000 247
Breathing Space -0800838587


It IS ok, to not be ok.

"I touch your face while you are sleeping"

Easily the creepiest sentence ever added to a Christmas song.

"Starting my shopping early next year, this is a nightmare, canny even get parked. Look at the state of that clown, taking up 2 spaces. "

-Me and every other 30s male the weekend before Xmas every year.

Mastodon starts civil war. Strange times. Strange times indeed.

Just a couple more quick thoughts as our user count increases rapidly! Over 700 new users in the last 24 hours and counting. was started in early 2018 as a Mastodon instance for Scottish users

While we’ve had a huge influx of pro-independence supporters be mindful this instance is for all Scots, even those with different views. Please be respectful of others’ beliefs. We’ll always have to share Scotland whatever happens!

Also, your public posts can be seen by any other Mastodon instances that link to us, of which there are currently over 4,000. When you post do please be mindful of the wider Mastodon community!

That said, we were a great little site with a lovely community before, and now we’re a bigger site with a lovely community. So, whatever your beliefs, let’s make this a corner of the internet where we can be proud to be Scottish ☺️

That feeling at the start of the night when you're having a quiet pint, pub isny too busy and the queue is non existent. You know it's gonny fill up soon, and the wankers will arrive when it does, but right now, it's just nice. That's what it's like on here just now.

Anyone with a bit more tech savvy think it's worth registering all the big pro-UK twitter handles on here? Get the good ones parodied or dormant before they clock on to it?

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This is a Mastodon instance primarily intended for (but not limited to) users in Scotland or who identify as Scottish.